114 Funny Holiday Quotes For Instagram (Festive)

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Hey there, social media mavens! Are you tired of scrolling through your Instagram feed and seeing the same old cliché holiday quotes over and over again? Do you cringe at the thought of posting another Merry Christmas ya filthy animal caption? Well, fear not because Justin from Gromasa is here to save the day!

In this post, I’m going to share with you 114 funny holiday quotes that will make your followers LOL and stand out from the crowd. No more boring captions for you! So sit back, grab a cup of cocoa, and get ready to spice up your holiday posts with some humor. Don’t forget to save this page for later and share it with your friends who could use a little festive cheer on their feeds too! ✨ #HolidayHumor #InstagramQuotes

Best Funny Holiday Quotes For Instagram

1. I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red. #HolidayHumor #Cheers
2. Dear Santa, define ‘naughty’. . #NaughtyList #SantaClausIsComingToTown
3. All I want for Christmas is you. . to stop talking before my coffee kicks in. ☕️ #CoffeeLover #ChristmasMood
4. The only holiday weight I’m interested in lifting is the wine glass to my lips. #WineWednesday #HolidayFitnessGoals
5. Tis the season to be jolly. . or drunk, whichever comes first! #JingleJuice #Holidaze
6. Who needs mistletoe when there’s wine? #WineNotKissMeNow
7. ‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring. . because they were all passed out from holiday feasting. #FoodComa
8. I put so much thought into your gift that now it’s too late to buy it.  #LastMinuteShopping 
9. May your days be merry and bright. . and may your WiFi signal always be strong!  #TechyHolidays 
10. Stressed spelled backwards is desserts – coincidence? I think not!”  #SweetEscape               

Cool Funny Holiday Quotes For Instagram

1. Vacation mode: ON, Funny mode: Always. #HolidayLaughter #TravelQuotes
2. My goal this holiday season is to be as merry and bright as my Instagram filter. #FestiveVibes #LaughOutLoud
3. I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. but if the white runs out, I’ll drink red. ❄️ #CheersToTheHolidays #WineHumor
4. Dear Santa, please bring me a sense of humor this holiday season. And maybe some cookies too. #SantaLaughs
5. Tis the season to be jolly. or at least pretend until January 1st. #JingleAllTheWay #HolidayMood
6. Eating all the holiday cookies before they even make it to the cookie exchange like. #CookieMonsterMode
7. If you see someone without a smile this holiday season, give them one of yours! Or offer them some hot cocoa. that works too. ☕️ #SpreadJoyNow
8. ‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring because they were all in food comas from eating too much pie. #SugarRush
9. Dashing through the snow in search of more eggnog like. ✨ #DrinkUpGrinches
10. Keep calm and get your ho-ho-ho on!” ✨#FestiveFeels
11. Who needs mistletoe when we’ve got wine?” 12. Walking in a winter wonderland has never been easier with these heated socks. ” ❄️☀️ 13. Nothing says ‘happy holidays’ quite like an ugly sweater party!” ‍♂️ 14. May your days be merry and bright…and may your WiFi signal always be strong. ” 15. ‘Tis better to give than receive…unless we’re talking about presents. ” 16. I’m dreaming of a White Christmas…just kidding, I live in Florida!” ☀️ 17. Sleigh my name, sleigh my name…” ❤18. Just remember – if you don’t sing loud for all to hear during karaoke night at the company party…it’s bad luck for seven years!” ⚠19. On this day every year…I solemnly swear that I am up to snow good. ” ❄️ 20. Rockin’ around our makeshift tree made entirely out of gift boxes! Who needs real trees anyway?” ♻- Holly Jolly Hilarity

Short Funny Holiday Quotes For Instagram

1. My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch. #holidayhumor #funnyquotes #authorunknown
2. I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red. #winelover #christmashumor #authorunknown
3. Dear Santa, define ‘good’. #naughtyornice #santalist #authorunknown
4. All I want for Christmas is food. lots of food. #foodieproblems  #christmaswish list – Unknown
5. Calories don’t count during the holidays, right? Asking for a friend. #holidayeats  #caloriesdontcount – Unknown


1. Fa-la-la-la-larious! #HolidayHumor #LaughOutLoud
2. Jingle all the way. to the dessert table! #SweetTooth #HolidayFeasting
3. Sleigh my name, sleigh my name! ❄️ #WinterWonderland #PunnyPuns
4. All I want for Christmas is. a nap. #FestiveFatigue
5. Christmas calories don’t count, right? #TisTheSeasonToIndulge

Simple Funny Holiday Quotes For Instagram

1. All I want for Christmas is a nap #holidayvibes #relatablequotes #authorunknown
2. Eat, drink, and be merry. for tomorrow we diet! #holidayhumor #foodiequotes #authorunknown
3. Dear Santa, define ‘nice’ #naughtyornice #santalist #authorunknown
4. Frosty the snowman was a jolly happy soul. until he melted in the sun ☀️⛄️#winterwoes #meltingaway #authorunknown
5. ‘Tis the season to be jolly. or at least try to look festive while stressing out over gift shopping #seasonsgreetings2021 author unknown
6. I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. but if the white runs out, I’ll drink red ❄️#holidaycheer author unknown
7. The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear. ” – Buddy the Elf #elfmoviequote author unknown
8. Dear Santa, just leave your credit card under the tree.  #shopaholicproblems author unknown
9. Maybe Christmas doesn’t come from a store… maybe it means a little bit more. ” – The Grinch  #wisewordsfromthegrinch Dr. Seuss
10. This holiday season has me feeling like an elf on caffeine! ☕️ ‍♂️ #crazybusydaysindecember Author Unknown

Aesthetic Funny Holiday Quotes For Instagram

1. All I want for Christmas is a nap #holidayvibes #relatablequotes #authorunknown
2. Eat, drink, and be merry. for tomorrow we diet! #holidayhumor #foodiequotes #authorunknown
3. Dear Santa, define ‘nice’ #naughtyornice #santalist #authorunknown
4. Frosty the snowman was a jolly happy soul. until he melted in the sun ☀️⛄️#winterwoes #meltingaway #authorunknown
5. ‘Tis the season to be jolly. or at least try to look festive while stressing out over gift shopping #seasonsgreetings2021 author unknown
6. I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. but if the white runs out, I’ll drink red ❄️#holidaycheer author unknown
7. The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear. ” – Buddy the Elf #elfmoviequote author unknown
8. Dear Santa, just leave your credit card under the tree.  #shopaholicproblems author unknown
9. Maybe Christmas doesn’t come from a store… maybe it means a little bit more. ” – The Grinch  #wisewordsfromthegrinch Dr. Seuss
10. This holiday season has me feeling like an elf on caffeine! ☕️ ‍♂️ #crazybusydaysindecember Author Unknown

Cute Funny Holiday Quotes For Instagram

1. Eat, drink, and be merry! #HolidayCheer #JingleAllTheWay – Unknown
2. I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. but if the white runs out, I’ll drink red! ❄️ #ChristmasSpirit #WineLover – Unknown
3. All I want for Christmas is food. and more food. #FoodieLife #MerryAndBitey – Unknown
4. Dear Santa, define ‘nice’. #NaughtyListPending #SantasWatching – Unknown
5. Tis the season to sparkle. and avoid relatives asking about your relationship status. ✨ ‍♀️#SingleBellsSingleBells – Unknown

Funny Funny Holiday Quotes For Instagram

1. My favorite holiday tradition is avoiding my family members during board games #HolidayHumor #FamilyTime – Unknown
2. The only gift I want this year is a nap #AllIWantForChristmas #TiredAF – Unknown
3. Forget love, fall in chocolate ❤️ #HolidaySweets #Chocoholic – Unknown
4. Dear Santa, define ‘nice’. . asking for a friend #NaughtyList #SantaClausIsComingToTown – Unknown
5. I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. . but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red! ❄️ #WineWednesday – Unknown
6. ‘Tis the season to be jolly. . and by jolly, I mean eat all the cookies! #CookieMonster – Unknown
7. If snowflakes were kisses, I’d send you a blizzard ❄️ #WinterRomance – Anonymous
8. Rudolph’s nose wasn’t the only thing that was lit this Christmas ✨#MerryAndBright -Unknown
9. All spruced up and ready to sleigh it this holiday season! ✨#PunnyChristmasTreeQuotes-Unknown
10. Feeling festive with every sip of hot cocoa ☕️ #FestiveDrinks-Unknown

Nice Funny Holiday Quotes For Instagram

1. Vacation calories don’t count, right? ✨ #HolidayVibes #VacayMode
2. My idea of a balanced diet is a cocktail in each hand! ️ #HolidayGoals #CheersToThat
3. If you need me, I’ll be on island time! ☀️ #IslandLife #RelaxModeActivated
4. I live for holidays and cocktails with little umbrellas! #TropicalParadise #SipSipHooray
5. Collect moments, not things. . but also maybe some souvenirs! ✈️ #TravelBug – Unknown
6. Sunshine mixed with a little hurricane attitude ☀️ #BeachBumLife – Unknown
7. The tan lines may fade, but the memories will last forever! #VacationMemories – Unknown
8. In desperate need of vitamin sea and salty air! #OceanTherapy – Unknown
9. Laughter is an instant vacation. ” – Milton Berle ✈️#LaughOften
10. A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in. ” – Robert Orben ⛱️ #ChillTime
11. Adventure awaits where the sun kisses the ocean’s horizon” – Unknown ☀️ #Wanderlust
12. Good vibes happen on high tides”-Unknown ‍♂️✨#BeachLife
13. All you need is love and a passport! ✈❤️  -Unknown     #globetrotter 
14. Embrace the glorious mess that you are”– Elizabeth Gilbert  #adventureawaits  
15. Live life in flip flops! ☀-Unknown                 #adventuresawait 
16. Catch flights, not feelings!” ✈  –Unknown                                                            
17. Sorry for what I said when I wasn’t at the beach! ⛱                           
18. Let’s wander where wi-fi is weak! …           
19. Find me under the palm trees! ☮
20. Just another day in paradise. . ☀⛵

Good Funny Holiday Quotes For Instagram

1. Eat, drink, and be merry. . for tomorrow we diet! #HolidayHumor #FunnyQuotes #AuthorUnknown
2. The only thing getting ‘lit’ this holiday season are my Christmas lights! #FestiveFun #HolidayLaughs #Anonymous
3. Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. . well, most of the time. #NaughtyOrNice? #JollyJokes #Unknown
4. It’s not about the presents under the tree, it’s about the cookies next to it! #TisTheSeasonToBeSilly – Anonymous
5. I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. . but if you run out of wine I’ll drink red too! ❄️#WineNot? – Unknown
6. ‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, everyone was on their phones scrolling past that one annoying relative’s posts. #ModernChristmasCarols – Anon
7. All I want for Christmas is you. . to stop talking politics at dinner. #PeaceOnEarthPlease – Unknown
8. #SleighAllDay and then sleigh some more! ❤️#WinterWonderlandWinning – AuthorUnknown

Attitude Funny Holiday Quotes For Instagram

1. Vacation mode: activated! #HolidayVibes #RelaxMode
2. My suitcase is packed with attitude and bikinis! #BeachBum #SunshineState
3. Just a girl with a passport and a dream ✈️ #WanderlustWednesday #AdventureAwaits
4. Let’s find some beautiful place to get lost together #TravelGoals #ExploreMore
5. The tan lines may fade, but the memories will last forever ☀️ #SummerMemories – Unknown
6. Life’s a beach, enjoy the waves ️ #SeasTheDay
7. I need six months of vacation twice a year. ” – Unknown
8. Good times and tan lines are all I need this holiday season” – Anonymous
9. Sandy toes & sun-kissed nose” ☀️ ✨- Unknown
10. Find me under the palms, where my worries drift away with the tide” – Anonymous
11. Collect moments, not things ❤️✈️” – Unknown
12. Not all those who wander are lost ⚓✈️” – J. R. R Tolkien
13. Paradise found ☀️❤️ – Anonymous
14. Vacay vibes only! ✨ -Unknown
15. Dance like no one is watching. . especially on holiday! -Anonymous
16. Chasing sunsets and dreams ✨☀️-Unknown
17. Happiness comes in waves – catch it when you can! -Anonymous
18. In desperate need of vitamin sea❤⛱-Unknown
19. Life’s too short for boring holidays – let’s make some memories! -Anonymous
20. Eating my way through every destination – foodie adventures await! ✈#FoodieTravels